I explored the practice with a softer concentration than in the previous experiment : « observing and noticing » rather than « focusing » on the tensions. The result was an awareness of the tensions : « ok it’s here, how is it ? ». Instead of catching the tension, focusing on it, and then making it growing in consciousness and take all the place !
I could notice that breathing in the tension relieve it. I tryed to feel a quality of softness and acceptation that I wasn’t used to : observing without trying to stretch, without forcing, or pulling, not insisting. Then I spread my awareness around my body and felt the differences between left and right part of the body. I danced with the relaxed part and left the tense part quiet. Accepting that if the left shoulder is painfull, no probleme I can move only the right shoulder. And I noticed that the tension goes away naturaly and I can move all the body after a while. Finally I trully experienced meditation in movement, always bringing my thoughts back to the body.
I understood that it’s exactly like in Vipassana meditation, but in movement : when you scan the body you can observe that sensations come and pass away. It’s experiencing inconstancy !
The point of tension was physical , a pain the body was experiencing . Initially it is difficult to give the gentle attention . Gentle attention a thought or feeling . The thought registers the pain , as experienced . Is it to replace this thought with a soft thought. What is a soft thought? One with no memories of pain or a thought independent of all experiences ? Questions to clarify what is a gentle thought. With my reflection , consider it as a thought to be negated by a softer and gentle thought . Confusing . Questions. As encouraged , feel the softness with no force . BE KIND
With the intension to be gentle and bring softness to my observation I notice there were unacknowledged pains in the body. I recognize that I hastily skipped these pains in the body as my attention previously was too sharp and judgemental.
Learning to embrace the tensions allows unacknowledged tension in the body to loosen up in the dance, I realize that my right shoulder have been habitually pulling upwards in a motion to support the pain. Yet this motion of habitual support is also slowly creating another tension and makes my body unbalanced.
As I bring more loving kindness attention in the dance, I found my movements flowing without my will/thinking. There were parts that were not moving as smoothly in comparison to other parts of the body. It was all ok as the tensions long-held needed to slowly unwind.
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